Aftermath & The Art of “Just One”

Two years ago this month, I was subjected to attacks. It was during a time when I was undergoing inordinate healing—initiated by a deep heartbreak. Roughly six months into recovering not only from that heartbreak but also, in the process, healing subconscious boulders from my childhood through a discovery process led by intuitive nudges that guided self-initiated methodologies. I was coming out the other side of the healing as a better and stronger version of me.

And then the unthinkable happened.

While I’m not going to focus on the details of what took place here, I will tell you that the attacks not only blindsided me but were terrifying in their entirety—especially with over 20 people coming at me in-person. By the grace of the universe, I got away physically unscathed.

Mentally, however, “unscathed” was the exact opposite of what I felt. Not only did the initial attacks leave me broken, but the continued stalking (both in-person and through online hacking) interfered with my ability to find my footing.

While I realize events like this occur daily all over the world, I can honestly tell you—I was flabbergasted. I try to live my life helping others and am grounded in the Golden Rule. I am not someone who lives a fast life, does wrong to others, or even puts myself in environments where “seedy” is an option. So when these occurrences took place, it left me astounded and reeling with the questions: Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I can tell you that in every minute of every day, while trying to find my footing and a sense of safety, my brain struggled with never-ending questions like these.

Prior to these events, I was seated in the belief that humanity was good and just at its core. Following these traumatic experiences, that belief was upended too. And while it shocks me to even think this way, that shift in worldview was almost worse than the attacks themselves. Not only did no one stand up and tell the truth about what happened, but no law enforcement body stepped in to support me. My sense of justice and safety was not only thwarted, but my support system disintegrated. The countless friends and family connections I had always assumed would be there if I ever needed them—just frankly weren’t. I went largely unsupported by anyone.

In the aftermath of the attacks, I wasn’t believed—because how could I have survived something like that? As if living through them and trying to keep myself safe every day wasn’t enough, I was asked to repeat the details endlessly and justify to others why this was happening. How could I explain what happened to others when I couldn’t explain it to myself? When you live your life trying to do the right thing every time, how do you justify violence coming at you? How do you explain faceless ghosts—when you can’t? It was enough just to get up every day, focus on keeping my coaching business running, give my clients my best, and then deal with my personal stuff when I wasn’t working. That took all of my energy.

I wasn’t trained in the art of combat to be able to fight 20 people who were trying to throw me in a van. I wasn’t an IT guru who understood cybersecurity deeply enough to figure out why I kept getting hacked even after changing all of my passwords. I wasn’t an investigative expert who could trace the connections of some evil-doer force that seemed dedicated to demolishing everything tied to my most basic Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  I was just a woman—trying to live her best life, helping people when I could, curious about the world around me, and running a business dedicated to helping others live their best lives.

If you are someone who hasn’t had something like this happen to you, let me offer an analogy to help paint the picture.

I felt like a ghost of a human being—my outer body intact, but with a huge, gaping shotgun hole in my soul. And while I stood there, silently screaming for help, everyone around me bustled about with their daily lives—completely unaware I even existed. Unseen and unheard. Like it didn’t matter. Like I didn’t matter.

After the initial couple of months of reeling, I started threading the wound together and piecing my soul back together. Every single moment that I listened to exactly what I needed and gave myself the same love that I had shared with so many others, it cauterized the wound. With each action—giving myself grace, allowing myself to feel emotions, visualizing success, being out in nature, listening to my downloads, enjoying creative endeavors—the wound was sutured and mended bit by bit.

I built my proverbial spiritual muscles, and with every workout, I found more understanding that I could rely on myself and the surety that I was going to make it through this. I realized the universe was providing what I needed-with a person, place, experience, or download-I was learning to be more receptive and open to it.  Being hard-headed helped too, as I was determined with each moment I grew stronger to thrive despite it all—a little proverbial “fuck that” to my ghost attackers.

And I learned to remember that I was enough, and to forgive others who know not what they do. I can only control myself and how I show up in the world. The rest? Well, the rest lies in the hands of both the universe and others. I only own how I feel, what I do, and how I respond.

I told you in the beginning that it would be two years this month since the last physical attack; the cyber ones and the attacks on my business continue. And while I get impatient with situations and with myself, I have gained so much from the experience and the lessons that have come from it.

I know that eventually, I will get justice. And despite what happened, I know that humanity—while flawed—is ultimately good and just trying the best it can. I know that I am more self-reliant, resilient, smarter, stronger, authentic, and loving than I have ever been.

I have inordinate faith in both myself and the universe. I know that change is constant and that every day brings a new beginning for beauty and miracles. I have faith that I am protected and am surrounded with reminders when I don’t feel safe.  I trust that I have universal, unconditional love and seek it in the little things.

I, like the rest of humanity, am flawed and try to learn and evolve every single day—to be better and do better—while giving myself grace when I falter. And I have doubled down on being the change I want to see in the world: through mindset, through actions, by example, by spreading light, and by giving unconditional love.  And that is why I share my story in order to help inspire others-from any angle.

And within that, I have a request for you. If you take anything away from reading this, I’m asking that it be to remember “Just One.”

It takes:

Just one step to get closer to your future.

Just one person to stand up for justice.

Just one call to make someone feel supported.

Just one small act of kindness to change someone’s day.

Just one action to change someone’s life trajectory.

Just one inspiration to change your whole world.

Just one experience to create a domino effect on others.

As Mahatma Gandhi said, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”