Love as a Verb

Humanity often expresses love as a feeling rather than a verb. But I see love as action—how we show up for others and ourselves with care, commitment, and integrity. And with each action, when we remove the masks, the courage to be authentically vulnerable unfolds.

The foundation of truly living love as a verb requires first being whole within yourself. If you don’t fully love and accept yourself, you cannot show up as your best self for those you love. Many societal and familial narratives suggest that loving yourself first is selfish. But the irony is that until you love yourself enough to set boundaries and model unconditional love for yourself, your ego will block your ability to truly love others unconditionally.

Until you understand the value of holding space for and fully accepting your whole being—dark and light, feminine and masculine, or any number of perceived dichotomies (see more here)—you won’t have a framework for loving others in a healthy way. If you don’t wholly love yourself, the lens through which you perceive partnership and reciprocity will be clouded by ego, pride, a need for external validation, or other unconscious patterns that distort love in action.

Love as an action requires you to confidently own your entire being and understand your worth. Your first act of love must be an inside job.

When you unconditionally love yourself—flaws and all—you are able to truly love others. You can lean in and hold space for their whole being because you already have a model for how to do it. Because you are whole, you can show up fully, without expectation or need- you prioritize the connection. You can intuit when and how to be there—not to seek validation or recognition, but simply because they need you. You can lend an ear, a shoulder, or your inner warrior when they are weary. You understand that your role is not to save them—you have already healed your hero complex—but to hold them up and remind them of their own strength. Love in action is showing up consistently, being a safe space of trust for their intricacies and vulnerabilities.

““People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they always show you. Pay attention.”

― Keri Hilson

Love in action is complete honesty and integrity—even when it’s complicated. It is listening deeply to truly understand another’s fears, dreams, concerns, and challenges—without judgment or interruption. It is not making their words about how you feel or what they mean to you, but listening for understanding, not rebuttal. And in that listening, when conflict or friction arises, love is choosing forgiveness and grace. Understanding does not mean condoning behavior, but rather holding space with unconditional love for the human condition—we are all flawed.

Love is communicating with truth and compassion—being honest in a way that builds rather than breaks. It is speaking from love rather than ego, balancing kindness with firm boundaries.  It is nakedly revealing your heart by exposing exactly what is in it- with raw and vulnerable intimacy.  It is choosing to lay it on the line every single time because that is who you are.

Love is being courageous. Courage isn’t about having all the answers or simply taking risks—it’s the willingness to be seen as you truly are, without masks or pretense. It’s about showing up authentically, even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain.

Many of us are conditioned to project strength and certainty in our relationships. But true courage, I’ve realized, lies in embracing vulnerability—owning failures as growth lessons and showing up authentically, always. Every setback becomes a lesson, every misstep a redirection toward something greater. The more you lean into this, the more you grow—and the more you empower those you love to do the same.

True success in love isn’t about avoiding failure; it’s about having the resilience to rise, the honesty to own your authenticity and journey, and the bravery to keep going despite the unknown. When fear of failure keeps you in your comfort zone, you limit what is possible in love.

Every moment of every day, you are making choices. Choose love—by taking action-live it as a verb.